All I Ever Wanted
by thesingingbone
Summary: Zach did not like the hospital.


**Title:** All I Ever Wanted  
**Rating:** T  
**Warnings:** Icky (undoubtedly incorrect) medical stuff. Angst.  
**Characters and Pairings:**Zach, York, and Fiona. Implied York/Emily. One-sided(?) Zach/Emily.

**Summary:** (Spoilers)  
AU in which Emily survives, but York still 'disappears'. Zach reflects in the hospital.

Zach did not like the hospital.

The boxed shape and dirty linoleum reeked of a time long past, echoes of the sixties dragging out the labyrinth of bland hallways - in the dim, flickering of florescent lights the bleached walls gleamed yellow, glossed embossment straining to hold down the parched cracks.

Despite its size, the building remained desperately empty. The sheer hollowness of the Emergency Room seemed to make its walls groan - off hand, Zach counted two nurses aside from . They occasionally peeked their heads past the curtain, skirting away only when they could no longer hold his desperate stare.

It reminded him of a mental hospital.

He had been in one, once - or rather, they had. York's indifferent demeanor and penchant for sharp bracelets and loud music had earned them the ire of every doctor and nurse there.

_York._

Zach gnawed at his thumbnail nervously.

In his ear, Emily's ventilator gasped as it compressed - he watched her chest rise at the same time, his heart skipping a beat when it did not happen immediately.

_"Collapsed lung", had said, his brow furrowed, "It's the least of her problems."_

Zach's eyes skirted over the dialysis machine - _"Renal failure." The doctor spoke, "We had to remove her right kidney, and the other was badly damaged. Not to mention slight blood poisoning from whatever impaled her-"_ - to the IV stand, a colorful array of liquid filled baggies - _"What's that?" He asked, hands indicating the display as a whole - Fiona's mouth twisted, a hesitation on her lips, "Water so she doesn't get dehydrated…more blood and anti-biotics, just in case-"_- before finally landing on the heart monitor.

His stomach lurched with every beep - it twisted during the silence.

_"We've successfully closed most of the wounds to her small and large intestines - but a hysterectomy was inevitable."_

Did Emily want children? He couldn't remember. Maybe York would know.

_"It's a miracle that she's alive," Johnson marveled, easing the awe in his voice at the sight of the black ring's beneath Zach's eyes, "I've never seen anything like it."_

If the FBI had their way, no one ever would again.

_Zach watched the array of black suits sweep away the sapling, his testimony, and every last red seed from the morgue. They did not ask when he would be returning to work._

Zach wanted to hold Emily's hand, but the needles taped into her skin made him nervous - he wanted to speak to her, too, but then he couldn't hear the monitors and that scared him even more. He settled for lightly stroking her arm, a jumpy and guilty touch.

_York should be here, not me. _He thought, gazing at her still face and gleaming blonde hair - but York was gone, and so he would have to take care of her instead. He would fight sleep until they had to put him into his own hospital bed - or at least until the vending machine ran out of coffee.

_Finally, one day, when the weight of the question threatened to fracture his ribs and shatter his heart, he asked. _

_"Is she going to survive?"_

Wiping at his tired eyes, Zach shifted uncomfortably as he desperately tried to straighten his spine.

_Doctor Johnson had gaped, but as he drew his breath to answer Fiona hushed him by placing a gentle, freckled hand upon his shoulder. She smiled before deigning to speak._

When Emily's armed twitched, Zach ground his teeth and choked down a wave of desperation and hope.

_"I find, that in times like these, the only thing we can do is pray, Agent Zach."_

And so he did.

_Please, York_ - Zach thought desperately, grasping for his companion, his friend, himself - _I know you love her more, but please. Don't let her die, York. I need her._

He lost all ability to breath when Emily's blue eyes, after weeks of being shut, carefully creaked open. In his excitement he knocked over his chair and half-tore the curtain from its rings as he called for Fiona.

York had always been the selfless one.

* * *

**Notes:** Just an extremely quick-fic, set in an alternative ending where Emily doesn't die. Inspiration hit me even harder during it, so there's a chance of other ficlets set during random times in this realm.


End file.
